I feel disconnected from my child. How do I rebuild our relationship?

Connection does not require long heart-to-heart talks. Often it grows through repeated moments when a child feels noticed, accepted, and safe to be themselves.

What might be happening underneath?

When a parent tells me they miss the relationship they used to have with their child, I take that seriously. Reconnection often begins with small moments: being available, listening without immediately fixing, and making room for who your child is becoming.

• Notice whether most conversations have become about correcting behavior or managing tasks.
• Try to understand your child’s preferred way of connecting: conversation, humor, hobbies, activity, or quiet companionship.
• Look for stressors that make connection harder for both of you.

A few things I would try

1. Offer ten minutes of child-led time without teaching or correcting.
2. Make one genuine observation or expression of appreciation each day.
3. After conflict, lead with repair rather than a lecture.

Questions parents ask